brandnewday | how it feels to be truly dead

[Hidden away in Hibiki’s trunk is a...well, it’s a lot of paper. It looks like she’s been writing pretty often ever since Rin came in to bring her board games. On the first page, there’s a note.]

If you’re reading this, you’re probably Rin, aren’t you?

I really hope you’re Rin. I really hope I’m not the one throwing away this letter because Rin isn’t here anymore! But the important thing is that I’m probably gone, huh? Hilda told me I didn’t have any survival skills, so I’m really angry that this proves her right. It’s not like I don’t know how to survive! I bet I’d last longer in the jungle than she would.

But in a way, I’m really glad you’re reading this, Rin. I want to live. I’m never going to give up on living. But when I think about you being here, I feel really happy. Because I know you’ll lead everyone out of here in a way I’d never be able to! If you’re still here, that means everything is still going to be alright. I’m not going to look down on myself. I really tried my best. Nankurunaisa! Every day, that’s how I felt.

But you’re amazing. You’re funny, smart, and strong. Courageous really fits you, huh? But I think I had more fun calling you ‘sensei’ than I ever did using anyone’s title. Try not to be too sad about me, okay? Because if you’re reading this, I’m really happy for you!

I feel like I've always been honest, Rin. Tell everyone there I'm happy for them, especially Tarrlok and Sayaka and Elda and Alex and Yuri and Luca and Adelina, and that I'm counting on them! And never forget my word, okay? If I'm not there to say it, it's on you!

Your friend forever,
Hibiki Ganaha

[But at the bottom, there’s another note. An addendum.]

And Rin, I really, really like you!

[But to anyone who reads Japanese, regardless of language shenanigans in this place...

...Hibiki’s intentionally used the word ‘daisuki.’

The next page starts with another letter:]

Dear Mage’s Association,

I’m not really sure how to address you, but I’ll try to be as formal as I can. Recently, Rin Tohsaka was involved in an accident that was beyond her control. There’s nothing she could have done to stop it. She, I, and thirty-four others were forced into an old academy building and forced to play by strange rules. The only way to get out would be to kill someone and not get caught.

In the pages that I write here, I’m going to do my best to show you how amazing Rin is. It’s true that we found out about you and that magic exists because of her, but that isn’t her fault. She worked hard to save lives. Without her, we could all be dead. Without her, timelines everywhere could be even worse than they already are!

My name is Hibiki Ganaha, and I’m an idol from Okinawa. I was born on October 10th, 20XX...

[What follows is a firsthand experience of Hibiki’s life in the academy. She has included a copy of the rules, she’s copied down all the profiles and written her thoughts on everyone, including herself. She’s included some of Chie’s photos. She’s included motives, personal meetings, and at times she admits she can’t remember because she started the journal weeks into the exercise.

But she also focuses on Rin. She focuses on how Rin behaves in trials, on how Rin never gives up, on how Rin consoles everyone and tries to keep order. She talks about her personal talks with Rin, and she talks about how Rin stopped to teach her as they went along. The second to last page ends with Hibiki feeling safe because she doesn’t plan on leaving her room, musing about what will happen in the morning.

The last page contains her family’s address, names, and every information the Mage’s Association could use to find her in her own world.]